My Umbrella Shop

Now that my teaching contract is over, I find myself between vocations, jobs, careers, and pay-cheques. With that in mind, it's important that I figure out a way to earn a living.

Instead of going back to Canada, I'm going to open an umbrella shop here in China.

There is no better thing to sell. People in China (Guangzhou, at least) love their umbrellas. I can't think of an item that people use more than an umbrella, other than maybe their socks. Most people have multiple pairs of socks, but only one umbrella. This market could explode anytime!

People in China love to keep the sun off their faces, since they value a clear, white complexion. There are ads for both men and women's face whitening cream that show people with pale white faces. These people are successful in buisness and at finding attractive friends.

In my opinion the Chinese value a white face, as opposed to a dark tanned one, because it signifies wealth and status. A clear, light complexion means you're not a farmer working the fields, or a labourer working in the city, toiling outside and battling the hot sun every day. Instead, you're inside your air-conditioned building making a lot of money. So, many Chinese carry umbrellas around to shade their faces from the sun.



I thought of this great umbrella idea as I was out and about today. It was a very sunny and hot day, and you could see white fluffy clouds in the sky. Guangzhou is usually pretty socked-in with smog or haze, so when the sun comes out in the summer, so do the umbrellas.



If you don't have an umbrella, you can just use your bag of diapers to shield you from the sun. That's why my umbrella shop will be great...so many people want umbrellas, but don't have them! They use them in both the rain and the sun, so I'll have buisness all year around.



Even if you don't have a large diaper bag, a flattened cardboard box will do, or a paper shopping bag. You could even use the advertising flyers that people always hand you on the street. I'll sell these items alongside my umbrellas, in the event that customers are more comfortable using them and would prefer to avoid buying a real umbrella.



My umbrella shop will have a mobile kiosk division that can travel around to wherever the sun is shining, or the rain is falling. It will be small enough to bring on the bus, since there's a little-known need for umbrellas geared toward indoor use.



When it's raining, I'll sell my umbrellas at bus stops. When a foreigner comes by and asks in broken and accented Chinese how much an umbrella costs, I'll tell him 120RMB. Of course I'll be trying to cheat him, since anybody knows that the particular umbrella is not worth more than 15RMB.

Oh-oh. My dreams are dashed. I just realized that the kind of umbrella shop I want to open already exists. Not the kind with mobile divisions and selling diaper bags...just that kind that tries to cheat foreigners when it's raining.

I pushed the thoughts of my revolutionary umbrella shop out of my mind...I don't think it's as novel an idea anymore. I'll return to Canada instead of trying my luck at commerce in China.

With no umbrella shop dreams and no desire to stay in China, I figured I might as well walk around and take some pictures while the weather was nice.



Here's some of the Guangzhou skyline. The big building on the right is the tallest building in town, and at 80 stories, is Asia's tallest all-concrete structure. My favourite building is the bright one on the left, pretty much only because it's yellow. Remember, Guangzhou has the world's 19th best skyline which you can read about here.



I cruised by the ping-pong park again, and got a better shot illustrating the all-concrete table construction. The woman on the left is playing in heals and a dress, and having a great time.



The Chinese are the world's best nappers. I wish there was a website confirming it, but I'm pretty sure it's true even though there's not. They can sleep anywhere! Here are three people sleeping in the shade at the ping pong park.

Awhile ago I saw a guy napping on his bike, under a tree in the middle of the sidewalk. He had his kickstand down so the bike was fairly stable. His head was resting on a box strapped to the rear rack, he was sitting on the seat, and had his legs propped up on the handle bars. And to think I whine about my hard, lumpy mattress.

So, no umbrella shop for me. I think I'll head back to Canada instead, and maybe stop in Bali on the way.