My no good, very bad day.

I am very grumpy today. It was about 28 degrees in the classrooms and I was tired. The children were not engaged today, and were very loud. Arughhhh. Teaching was a struggle. Around noon, I got a toothache. I might have to go the dentist. I hate the dentist and never go. I'll buy some floss to try and trick him into thinking I floss regularly.

The day started out OK, as I was buoyed by Nathan's shirt. I knew I would have to get a picture of it early, since the children bring multiple shirts to school because it's so hot. I got my camera to document its awesomeness:



T-shirt designer: Hey Fang, how's this for a design?

Fang: Looks good...remember, it'll be a hit as long as there's English on it.

Designer: OK...I think I'll add some Chinese flavour by putting a dragon behind the text.

Fang: Great idea! We'll send this off to the factory tout suite! And the tooter, the sweeter. We're running late!

Designer: Hold on Fang. How does one "bump deticiate slow jams on tha radio?" And what does it mean to be fuc...

Fang: Doesn't matter! This design has to be sent in NOW!!!

And that's how Nathan's shirt came into being. Probably, anyway.

So, back to my day. Since tomorrow is Children's Day, I opted to play Bingo today because we won't be able to play in our usual Friday time slot. I like Bingo because even though it's a lot of effort, it's a different kind of effort than the regular teaching I do. It's a nice break.



Here's Lily. Ma Lao Shi was taking pictures, and she's obviously not impressed. Lily doesn't look to be a big fan of Ma...maybe she knew Ma was going to yank her around by her ponytail during today's Children's Day preparations. Lily was fighting back tears after it happened. And was trying to fix her newly loose ponytail.



This picture is for Mom...I still wear my Danish soccer jersey! It's six years old now, but gets treated well so is still going strong. Remember, you got this shipped in from Denmark for my birthday in 2002.

I put my camera away for the rest of day. I'm happy, because I don't think I want to remember my loud unattentive kids and my short temper.

I think I raised my voice three or four times today, which is more than my whole January - May total. I usually just sit there doing nothing, waiting for the children to be quiet. I got this idea from my primary school teachers since I remember them doing it too. It also wastes time and gets me a few seconds closer to the end of class. It all counts, you know.

I think I'm getting frustrated because I don't have real conversations with anyone, except maybe on Sundays. I hang out with 2 - 5 year olds all day, and they generally don't have a clue what I'm saying. I've been trying for months to get my youngest class to understand "What colour is the ....." and so far only the brightest ones have been able to grasp it.

I always thought I'd like to work in a forest fire observation tower way out in the boons somewhere, living by myself for a few months with only a stack of books for company. I also liked the idea of tending a lighthouse flame, perched on a lonely rocky knoll in the middle of a lake.

I now know this would be a bad idea for me. Being in China is pretty much the same as that forest fire observation tower, or the lighthouse. I have lots of books, and even have once-a-week English conversations. But it's not enough, and I'm crumbling mentally! I bet my social skills are really bad too, but there's no way to know since I never use them anymore.

I have basically no interaction with anyone other than my students. Having three year olds as your only friends would be tough in any situation (unless you were three as well), but much harder when they don't understand a stitch of what I'm saying.

I think my situation would be similar to living with a bunch of parrots. Like the children, the birds say a few of the same English phrases over and over, and their pronunciation is lacking.

I need to get out of the country. I need to stop teaching. I need a good hamburger.

Or learn Chinese and make new friends. I think complaining is the easier route.